Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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