Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
