Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
