C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
