what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
