Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
