I think I died a long time ago.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize