I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
