I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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