the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
