i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm eating all of the evidence.
someone owes me an orgasm
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
