Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
