kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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