new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
