They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
