i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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