I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
