I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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