just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
