we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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