HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize