I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
