Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
