Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
