I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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