We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
