I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
