I look better un-naked...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
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