for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
