This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Boobs speak an international language.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
