I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
