He asked to "fluff my boner.."
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
thus making me awesome and them whores
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize