i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
