Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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