3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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