Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
and she was petting her beer can
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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