Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
