So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
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