I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Acid is not a monday night drug
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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