3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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