My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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