I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
