Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
