his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize