I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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