Acid is not a monday night drug
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
