pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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