Christians are straight up FREAKS
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
