i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
