My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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