I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
vagina is talking i cant
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
