Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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