I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
