Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
