this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize