Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize