Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
