just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
