Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
