i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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