He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
