So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
