You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
